I believe that the beginning of every semester starts the same: I am SO pumped. Like, I’m all, “bring it on, school.” And then it does…
So here I am, fourth week into the semester, and I’m feelin’ it, y’all. Like my brain is sludge. I’m doing good just to remember what day it is. Not to mention, I’m sitting in Starbucks on campus, wondering how many coffees is to many (if that made any sense at all). Like, I’ll sit here for about an hour or so writing this and working on some assignments for my classes, scheduling photo sessions, and then when I get ready to leave I’ll want another coffee. And because I love my mother, (and because she asked me) I’ll order her a coffee too. And the barista will judge me for ordering two more coffees, because that will make three coffees in the short time span of two hours.
Anyways, back to my school-has-started-I-am-dying-now ramble:
I was sitting in my English Grammar class earlier, and found it rather difficult to concentrate on the many pronouns my professor was going over. My eyelids were heavy. I picked a stupid seat by the window, thinking that the sun shining through the glass would keep me warm, but the stupid blinds stay closed twenty-four seven, so that plan backfired. Now, all I feel is the stupid draft that slips in through the seal. And I can’t move seats. It’s like a silent understanding… Wherever you sit on the first day is where you will remain for the rest of the semester. That and I love the location of my seat, despite the stupid cold air. I’m close to the front and on the last row. I can see the board and hear the professor perfectly.
Usually, I am on top of my shit. I get things done; my school work, my work work, house work, all that stupid stuff, but here lately I just feel emotionally, mentally, physically drained. And I find myself dreaming of summer; sandals, cute tank tops, late evenings spent swimming, warmer temperatures, etcetera… I am lacking motivation. I feel utterly burnt out, and I’ve got about thirteen weeks of classes left (wow, that’s a depressing thought).
With that being said, I am declaring the rest of the day (after I do a couple hours worth of homework and scheduling photo sessions) a ME day. I’m going to go home and cuddle up in my bed and read; possibly catch up on a new show I’ve started binge watching (The Magicians on Netflix–check it out!), or a show that is a little newer and currently on the air called, Riverdale (talk about D-R-A-M-A). It’s the thing to do when feeling burnt out. It’s like when you listen to a song that you ABSOLUTELY LOVE on repeat for like a week straight, and then by week two you’re like, “Ugh, why did I ever like this song?” Hello, you’re burnt out. You go a week or month without listening to it, and you hear it again and feel similar to how you felt when you first heard it. BAM! Which is why it’s good to have a ME (YOU) day every once in a while.
This also brings me to something very important! When I have ME time, I sometimes feel guilty for it, because I feel like there is so much more I should be doing. But I recently discovered something–call it a epiphany if you will–but there will ALWAYS be something that needs to get taken care of. It’s all about timing though; planning, using your time wisely, all that jazz. There is never going to be a point in my life (dunno about yours, can’t speak for you) where I will have a giant To-Do list, and I’ve accepted that there is no freaking way I can get all of it done in a one day or less. And plus, all that pressure is enough to give me a mental breakdown.
So for all of y’all out there reading this, don’t forget to have the occasional ME (YOU) Day. You deserve it!
I deserve it!
We all deserve it! *WHOOO!*
I’m gonna end on that note. Again, there is really no specific topic or reason why I wrote this. These are just my random thoughts, and by me rambling on about them I hope that one of y’all are able to relate or identify with them. Or at least find them entertaining, and make you feel better about your own day.
Until next time.
Randi Garner 