Adventure #1 – Natural Springs
For five years every time I thought of my future plans, they weren’t just mine. I was sharing them with someone else.
I’m a structural person that LOVES planning and organization. It should be considered a sickness. When all of this happened to me, I flipped into major freak out mode, because all the plans and dreams for our future went up in flames. Those flames burned everything to the ground, and, to my surprise, brought clarity into my life. I could finally see past the jungle that was once there before.
Now. It’s this giant, open space full of so much potential.
I was talking to Maddie while she painted my walls. I told her how much I longed to go hiking. My sister and I used to explore for hours in the woods when we were growing up. I honestly don’t know how we didn’t ever got snake bit or lost. It was so much fun, though. Here was this enormous world around me, and it was at my disposal to explore. That thought alone made a decent amount of euphoria spread throughout me. Somewhere in the last five years, I started to push aside the things I loved to do.
Maddie lowered her paint brush and spun around. “Before the summer is over, let’s go hiking in five different places!”
That one sentence made me feel so hopeful. It gave me something to look forward to with someone I enjoyed spending time with. So, skip ahead a little. Tuesday evening we went hiking at Natural Falls in Oklahoma. There aren’t enough words to describe how beautiful it was. ❤
The split-up sent my brain into overdrive. My mind moved a hundred miles a second. Still does, just not as bad as yesterday or the day before. Thoughts come and go. Everything that has happened plays like a movie in the back of my mind. Thoughts are like waves. Some are big while some are small, grazing-your-feet types. I like to think it’s my brain’s way of trying to comprehend what all has happened.
Going hiking, for the first time since the split-up, made my thoughts stop. I was 100% in the moment; the sights of trees and plants and flowers, and sounds of birds and water trickling along the stream. I was at peace. I had forgotten about everything happening in my life. I laughed so much with Maddie (we got lost a few times, saw a beaver and wasn’t sure if it would attack us, and at one point I thought I saw Bigfoot but turned out it was just a really tall man).
“Peel me apart, one layer
at a time;
there is sadness here,
but,
there is so much
joy.”
– Tyler Knott Gregson
The way my mom explained it to me was like this: “You are an empty canvas now. It’s time to find yourself.” The worst part about being lost is that you don’t know you are until something life-altering like this happens. I guess that’s the beauty of life, though. It helps get us on the path we need to be on.
Something else I’ve learned in this whole situation is how you treat others and react in situations define who you are as a person. Through this whole process I’ve done my best to remain graceful and compassionate; true to myself and my character. I don’t want to cause pain or be spiteful just because I was done wrong.
Don’t lose the best part of yourself over someone that didn’t think twice to break you.
Pain is a teacher. Happiness is a journey. Life is a big, messy, wonderful adventure.
And laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart. Well, and surrounding yourself with lovely individuals.
Until my next adventure.
P.S. Imagine Dragons have a new album out–Evolve. It ties in perfectly with the new season in my life, and it’s been on repeat for the last three days. Okay, carry on with your day 😉
Randi Garner 