chapter four • always do what you’re afraid to do
Y’all, I got a tattoo.
This may seem insignificantly small to some of you, but if you know me at all, you know how crazy scared I was to do something like get a frickin’ tattoo.
See, here’s a little back story: I hate needles and blood. In fact, I usually pass out when I have to get a shot. You think I’m joking, ask my mom and sister and the five nurses that witnessed it the first time it happened. I was twelve-years-old. I passed smooth out while watching my sister get a shot in the arm. Almost ten years later (holy crap, that’s depressing), I’ve nearly perfected the signs of passing out.
1 – Light headed
2 – Chest feels tight, like it’s contracting together, and all the oxygen deflates out of your lungs
3 – Purple spots splurge your vision
4 – BAM. You’re out.
As I was getting this tattoo, I felt numbers 1 & 2. Not because it hurt. Seriously, nothing about getting this tattoo hurt. It was just the fact that there was a needle touching my body. I know, it’s hella weird, but it’s a phobia I have.
Anyways, I was SO proud of myself after I got it, because I HAVE A TATTOO NOW.
I finally put aside my fears of it hurting, the needle, the fact that I’ll have permanently inked up my body, and just acted in the moment. You want it. You get it. Done. It was exhilarating.
Not to mention I have a pretty badass family. When I told them I wanted to get one, of course they made it a fam day and got one with me. Mom, Dad, my sister. My bro-in-law showed his support by tagging along. Even my bff, Maddie, got up semi-early on a Sunday morning to come with.
My heart is so full and grateful that I have these people in my life. ❤
From the top: Dad, Mom, me, Mom, & Sis.
There’s a book that I read once, We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. This book will literally tear out your heart and stomp on it, but at the same time it teaches you so many valuable lessons about life. One of my FAVORITE quotes ever is from this book.
“Always do what you’re afraid to do.”
It’s become my ambition–a goal–to do the things in life that terrify me. I am done living in fear. What’s the point? To avoid feeling pain and heartache? Over the last few months I’ve learned that pain does not last forever.
People come and go in our lives to teach us lessons. There will only be a few that remain rooted. I’m babbling about this, because forming relationships is a fear of mine I’m trying overcome. It’s hard to put yourself out there and trust someone you don’t know. I’d be completely satisfied having the few friends I have, because I’m content with my life. I’m content with myself. I’m comfortable where I’m at, at the moment, and that’s the problem. Being comfortable can be destructive, because you don’t ever want to move; to try new and exciting things. You just become accustom to the norm, and pretty soon you’re living your life the same way every single day without feeling anything new.
Life is meant to be felt.
I’m talking the knock-down, touch your soul feelings. The kind that stay with you forever and change who you are for the better.
The other day I was scrolling through FB and came across this video. This message came to me at a time when I needed to hear it the most. It explains how people who come and go in your life are categorized like seasons. Here. For the most part, I rely on my gut to feel my way through. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with drama-fake-negativity. I’m too busy living my life happily with kind-hearted, passionate people that challenge me, make my stomach hurt from laughter, and encourage me 100%.
Also, for those wondering, my tattoo is the sun and a wave, if you didn’t catch on. This tattoo is small and hardly extraordinary, but it means something to me. It represents my new beginning, my love for the ocean, and being adventurous and loving life.
“ocean. the blue liquor. the blue wine.” -nayyirah waheed
The place I find my peace. ❤
In this new season of my life, I’ve done more living than I have in the last couple of years.
Do something your afraid to do. Nothing is as scary as it seems. Tomorrow is a new day. We don’t ever get today back. So, whatever it is, take the chance.
until next time.
Randi Garner 