Let me start by saying this: It’s been a minute since I’ve been on here.
In 2017, I used this blog as a way to heal, and I ended up finding myself through it all. 2018 rolled in and I decided to take a step away from blogging, and writing in general, because life got hectic. In January, I started an internship at my University library that pretty much consumed my free time–on top of school, work, and social life. But then something unexpected and wonderful happened: I met Chase, and he completely stole my attention.
It’s kind of funny how everything works out. I mean, it turns out that through time span of our young adult lives, Chase and I were connected in so many ways without even knowing it. We’d been in the same room with each other several times due to mutual friends; gone to the same church for a while and sat like two rows away from each other; he’d taken his vehicle to my uncle’s local body shop a few years ago; we went to the same prom–all before actually meeting each other.
When I was a junior in high school, I was doing online classes, and for extra cash, during the day, I’d clean houses. There was one particular house I cleaned once a week located right next to Southside High School. The backyard was a giant privacy fence, and on the other side was the football stadium. The owners of the house would joke around how they’d “hear the band rehearse every morning”. They seemed in good spirits about it. I shrugged it off, though. Of course, I was going to have my headphones in, jamming out to my music, while I cleaned. Skip ahead to my first day–I had forgotten to pack my damn headphones. I was so annoyed. I actually remember trying to hum songs to myself, but I eventually grew bored of that. I’d just finished vacuuming when I caught wind of the harmony of instruments. Instantly, I clung to the sound of the only music I had, slowly walking out to the back patio to get a better listen. I forgot to pack my headphones every day after that. It wasn’t until Chase and I were six months in our relationship that I recalled. I was at work, scrubbing my glass desk with Windex (glass desk surfaces should be illegal). My mind wandered to all of the times I cleaned windows back in my House Cleaning Days. I replayed all of those sweet mornings in my head, scrubbing the kitchen countertops in that house, appreciating the the sound of the live instruments. And that’s when it clicked. The whole time I had been listening to Chase play and I didn’t even know it. He played percussion in high school.
That may be something extravagantly small, but it’s incredibly sentimental for me to think about how much life connected us before we met. We weren’t ready for each other at the time; we still had things we needed to go through to be who we are today.
Every Christmas Mama always has us write down our wishes for the following year. Some are a stretch: move to the beach. Others are more realistic: Wishing that Leo has a wonderful first year of school.
Christmas of 2017. One of Mom’s wishes was that Randi finds the man of her dreams. I remember shaking my head and rolling my eyes, muttering, “Okay, MOM.” Because, you know, I was in that I’m Doing Me phase of life. Meanwhile, I wrote down things like: Go to more live shows, hike more places, live at the ocean. I was being 100% serious as I wrote down my wishes for the year, maybe not super realistic though.
Here is the thing: I haven’t been to one show since Thomas Rhett, which was in March. I’ve only hiked one time this year. I definitely don’t live at the ocean. But you know what? Instead, I grew a little more. I learned how to love, and what being loved by someone is actually like. I gained a partner to go through the hardships and fun times in life with; someone that is sincerely my best friend in all aspects; that wants to know me more than I know myself.
A new year is right around the corner, which means new wishes. Truth is, last year I anticipated the new year. I was in a place where I ravished my new found freedom, eager to keep experiencing as much life as I could. It’s funny, because going to shows and living at the beach aren’t my priorities anymore.
There are 16 days left of 2018. I sat down today and thought about what my wishes are. Throughout the time span of 2018, I’ve discovered that my wishes and dreams revolved around the ones I love; the ones that I share my life with. Yes, going to shows make me happy. I love music and the way it makes me feel. And yes, it’s my dream to one day live at the beach. But going to shows was fun because of who I got to experience them with–Mom and Sis at Chris Stapleton and Thomas Rhett, and all of mine and Aubrey’s indie bands we stood in line and froze to death for. Living at the beach is a dream when I think about how vacation always is with my family. We’re away from home and all of the stressors in life, laughing and talking, cooking, walking the beach, swimming, just being with each other.
In 2019, I want to grow. I want to be better; a little softer. I want to enjoy life instead of worrying about what could happen. I want to be in the moments; be with the people in my life, all the way.
Here are my wishes for 2019:
- Continue to grow to be a better girlfriend, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. Every day, Chase and my family challenge me to better. I love that I have people in my life that make me a better person.
- Learn how to balance the busy seasons in my life with a little more grace. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities in life. It can be hard to balance everything, and with that I become irritable, frustrated, and the stress begins to physically and mentally wear me down. My attitude and thoughts are key; it also makes it easier with a steady routine, organization, and encouraging people by my side.
- Continue to put myself out there; know that vulnerability is not a bad thing. Chase taught me that. Despite his past relationship and experiences, he came into our relationship open and never hesitated to give me everything. I admire that about him.
- Travel more; plan trips throughout the year. Chase and I have a list going, but sometimes it’s hard to make those trips a priority. I want to sit down and map out a few trips throughout the year. Plan and save for them. Make them a reality.
- Have a Mental Heath Day every once in a while. Mental health is just as important as physical health. I’m slowly convincing myself that it’s alright to waste a whole day in bed, watch movies, and do absolutely nothing every once in a while.
- Don’t take life so seriously. Laugh a little more at the things that piss me off. (Bad drivers and loud crunching and shitheads). Don’t let things overall affect my mood. Know that I am in control of the way I feel; know that not all feelings are factual, some are just because I’m sensitive that day, or a little too emotional.
- Use my creativity on a daily basis. Don’t neglect the things that make me who I am. Don’t let my busy lifestyle take those things away from me.
- Drink a little more coffee, because why not??
- Fall in love with places, things, and people as much as I can. Hold onto the ones that are rooted in my life. Love them a little harder every day.
- Make an extra effort to be kinder to the ones that need it. You never know what a person is going through. And plus, the world needs a little more of it.
• What are some of your new year wishes?? I’d love to hear them. •
I’m sitting here drinking some homemade Sangria that Chase made, watching him scoop scrambles eggs into a pan. • He loves to cook. This is a recent thing he’s discovered about himself, and it makes me super happy to watch him do something he loves. • Mom just walked in, raving about the smell, all the while we’re waiting for Dad to come in from hunting. Mia is swarming Chase’s feet, anticipating him to drop an egg. Paris is laying on the couch with a very IDGAF attitude. This is one of those moments I mentioned before, the kind that I want to be in, remember and hold super close.
So with that, I hope that y’all have a wonderful Christmas–watch some cheesy Hallmark movies, drink a ton of hot cocoa, and soak in all of the moments with the people you love. Think about the new year and everything you want out of it.
Until next time…
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year ❤
Randi Garner 